If you spend holidays with family, there may be some family members you’re excited to see and some you would prefer to avoid. In truth, the pressure of the season can build up whether you’re spending time with family, friends, or a combination of the two. Hopefully, the tips that follow will help you learn how to manage holiday anxiety.
1. Focus on the present. Holidays are fixed points in the calendar, and it’s easy to turn them into anniversaries of the last argument you had with that person. Focus on the here and now instead. At the same time, don’t be surprised if the same old arguments creep up. If the issues of old do come into play, be ready to change the subject. This may not always be easy, but sometimes it’s easier to just change the topic than rehash the same old problems that likely won’t be resolved in one afternoon or evening anyway.
2. Plan your exit. Regardless of whether the people you are with friends or family, sometimes the best way to manage holiday anxiety is to have a planned exit at the ready if things get out of hand. Think things like refundable or easy-to-change flights, knowing where the nearest hotels are, having Uber and Lyft downloaded to your phone, etc… Even if you don’t use the exit plan, just knowing you can exit may help you remain calm.
3. Prepare for travel ahead of time if you’re going out of town. One thing that causes a lot of holiday anxiety for people is not preparing for the travel they will be doing to get to their friends or family. For example, if you currently live in Tampa, Florida, and are visiting family in International Falls, Minnesota for Christmas, you are going to need good boots and a heavy coat. You also should book your flights and hotels as early as possible and get to the airport with time to spare to avoid the stress that often comes with transportation. This simple step of planning ahead for travel can help you stay calm when you arrive and your sister starts complaining about doing all the cooking, or your brother is annoyed that he’s sharing a room with cousin Bob.
4. Avoid trying to make everything perfect. Very few family holidays look like a Norman Rockwell painting. There might not be a picture-perfect ending, and that’s okay! Don’t take on the burden of trying to make it perfect because you will set yourself up for disappointment. So you burnt the turkey? So what! Have a backup plan like a frozen pizza or sandwiches just in case. Buy the cookies instead of baking them. Order in the turkey. Or order a pizza or takeout from any place that happens to be opened. Give yourself a break, and just focus on enjoying time with the people you love.
5. Finally, schedule some downtime after it is all over. Whether you join your friends and/or family for another holiday, give yourself some self-care time after you get back home. Watch that holiday movie that no one else wanted to see, but that you love watching every year. Make your favorite dessert that cousin Sue took the last serving off. Treat yourself, take a deep breath, and enjoy what’s left of the season before the new year begins.
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