Facing the deployment of a spouse or partner can be extremely stressful, but there are ways to cope while counting the days until your deployed loved one comes home. When the most important person in one’s life has gone overseas, or simply stationed somewhere else, feelings of loneliness and depression, coupled with incessant fear and worry, may make it hard to get through the day.
While not everyone with a deployed spouse or partner will feel exactly the same way during the deployment, there are things that virtually anyone can do to cope while counting the very long days until their deployed loved one gets back safely. Some ideas include:
- Send care packages and letters
- Relieve stress with laughter
- Use the deployment as an opportunity to grow, and
- Join military support groups
Send Care Packages and Letters
Sending care packages and letters is a great distraction from stressful thoughts. It’s also great for lifting your spirits.
According to Army Sergeant Brian Horn, co-founder of AnySoldier.com, a website dedicated to sending care packages to deployed service members who haven’t received anything from home, care packages and letters are excellent ways to boost morale. His website lists many different items to send in a care package, and perhaps equally important, things not to send.
Troops may also enjoy receiving themed care packages such as holiday or sports packages, for example. Letters can be made special by including lots of pictures from home, greeting cards, funny or sweet poems, song lyric compilations, or personalized crossword puzzles that can be made from various free puzzle-maker sites found on the web.
Relieve Stress with Laughter
It is often said that laughter is the best medicine. According to MayoClinic.com, laughter can activate and relieve stress response, as well as increase endorphins, bring on relaxation, and reduce the physical symptoms of stress. So, next time the thought of a deployed spouse or partner brings about strong or upsetting emotions, try picking up a funny book, fishing through the channels for a classic sitcom, or streaming a comedy on Netflix or Prime.
Use the Deployment as an Opportunity to Grow
Military Spouse and author of When Duty Calls: A Handbook for Families Facing Military Separation, Carol Vandesteeg advises women with deployed spouses to “see separation as an opportunity to grow rather than focusing only on the fact that your husband is deployed.”
There are many ways to do this. Going back to school, taking up a new hobby, getting a part-time job, spending time in meditation or prayer, and starting a new exercise routine are some ways Vandesteeg suggests one might grow personally while keeping busy and distracting from the pain of missing a deployed spouse.
Volunteering time to a local charity is also a great idea to keep busy. There are plenty of charities to get involved in around the military base. Emailing and visiting with friends and family is also a way to divert one’s mind from missing his or her deployed spouse.
Join Military Support Groups
Every branch of the military has support groups for people with deployed spouses or loved ones. The Army’s FRG, or Family Readiness Group for example, supports military families and helps them prepare for and adjust to deployments. Vandesteeg recommends initiating contact with other spouses of deployed service members, rather than waiting for them to reach out first.
If initiating friendships on the military base is difficult or not possible, the internet is a great tool for finding others who can relate. There are tons of support forums, message boards, and blogs where people who share the common bond of having a deployed spouse may interact and help each other through the deployment.
Anyone experiencing the stress of having a deployed spouse should try these techniques in order to manage the pain associated with missing and worrying about a spouse or partner who is serving their country.
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