Fear of missing out, also known as FOMO, is more prevalent than it’s ever been. With the advent of social media, it’s easier today for our children to see that their friends and classmates are doing things without them thanks to shares on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. Should your child be suffering from FOMO, you might be wondering how to help them deal with it. The ideas below may be your saving grace.
Step 1 – Ask them why they have FOMO in the first place?
The reality is that many children get the fear of missing out over things that actually don’t matter to them when they think objectively and honestly about it. A great way to help our children, is to help them figure out why they are feeling the way they are. Ask them things like:
- Why do you feel left out?
- Do you even like the activities the kids you see are doing?
- Are you friends with any of the people involved in the activity you’re being left out of?
As you ask these questions, really listen to your children and let them sort out their feelings. They may realize the FOMO is related to the fact that one of their friends is hanging out with new people, and they simply fear losing that friend. Or, you may find that your child is simply jealous that people they know appear to be having more fun than they are in that moment. Once you get clear on what’s really going on, you can help them to better deal with their emotions.
Step 2 – Get them offline
It’s far too easy for our children to hang out on social media all day watching their news feeds flood with images and updates. Simply by diminishing screen time, you can help to distract them from the feelings of being left out. That saying “out of sight, out of mind,” can be the difference between having FOMO, and enjoying time doing something else.
Step 3 – Explain the falsity of social media
Here’s the truth – not everything we see on social media is real. As adults, even we have a difficult time keeping this in mind. With young, impressionable minds, it’s that much harder. Therefore, it’s imperative that we take the leadership role in this situation, and explain to our kids that the things being posted on social media are not always what they appear to be.
The child that is flooding Facebook with photos of themselves with new clothes and hashtags like “too blessed to be stressed,” could in fact have a horrible home life with parents that only give her clothes out of guilt for never being home. The student posting loads of pictures partying on Instagram, might not have parents that care enough to keep them out of trouble. Even that day at the amusement park that your child couldn’t afford to go to, could have in fact been a difficult day of arguments and frustrations that would never be posted online for the world to see. After all, we only share the happy times – even when they are staged happy times.
Step 4 – Set an example
Remember how I said that adults sometimes have trouble with FOMO too? This is one of those teachable moments where you can share with your child that sometimes it’s hard for you too when you see happy updates. Explain how you are working on getting over your own feelings of missing out. By watching how you deal with it, it can set an example for your children as well.
While this post may not be enough to completely end feelings of the fear of missing out, hopefully it will at least help you to begin the conversation with your children. As much as it hurts sometimes to see other people having fun or receiving things we don’t have, we must take the time to remember how fortunate we are for the things and experiences in our own lives.