You know the usual suspects – Christmas, Hanukkah, New Year’s Eve, Thanksgiving, Easter, and the list goes on and on – These are the days we get together with family members.
For many people, these are joyous occasions we anticipate because we can’t wait to see loved ones we normally don’t see throughout the year. Unfortunately, for many people these holidays bring massive feelings of discomfort because they actually fear being around their family members.
How can you evade the discomfort with family gatherings? Below you’ll find some tips that you might find helpful.
First, refrain from making assumptions. If you expect things to go wrong, it could be a self-fulfilling prophecy. Try to focus on the joy of seeing family members. If you go in anticipating trouble, you’ll already be on the defensive. This might actually cause a problem, or lead to making matters worse if one should arise.
Prepare for awkward questions ahead of time. Odds are you know the questions I’m referring to already.
- When are you having kids?
- When are you getting married?
- How’s that internet business of yours?
- Have you found a job yet? You’ve been laid off for months!
Have short and succinct answers at the ready. Then, change the subject. You don’t have to have a long drawn out discussion about anything that makes you uncomfortable. By preparing ahead of time, you will be better equipped to handle these questions without letting them become emotional.
Also – keep in mind that these questions aren’t always from an aggressive or offensive place. Sometimes family members go a little too far with their curiosities, but it could simply be they are bored, trying to deflect questions you might ask them, or they just don’t know what else to say.
Don’t bring up past arguments or family secrets. Now, this is not to say sweep anything under the rug, but you might want to pick a different time to hash out differences you may have. Keep it civil for the good of everyone.
Avoid politics, religion and other hot button topics. Nothing can stir up trouble quite like a triggering subject. Do your best to refrain bringing them up. And, if someone does bring up a hot button topic, try to swiftly change the subject.
Stay occupied to prevent awkward silence. If you are hosting, try to have games and activities prepared to keep everyone active and positive. If you’re not hosting, bring an activity with you, or have several subjects ready for discussion should you need to change topics or diffuse a conversation quickly.
Hopefully these tips inspire you to make family gatherings more enjoyable. Remember, at the end of the day, they are your family. Try to enjoy the time you have together, and make happy memories.