Raising kids is one of the toughest jobs in the entire world. It’s even harder when you have to do it alone. No one can tell you the best way to raise your children – after all you know your kids better than anyone. However, there are some tips you may be able to use to make single parenting a little easier on you.
Lead by example – One of the best things you can do for your children is to try and be a good role model for them. If you talk down about yourself and others, they will expect that’s how they should act. If, however, you’re good to others, speak highly of people and yourself, they absorb these as the actions they should be taking. Our children are like sponges. They are watching and taking things in all the time. Treat yourself right by eating healthy foods, working out, going to bed at a decent hour, etc… It’s a fabulous way to show your children they need to take care of themselves.
Get to the cause of misbehavior as soon as possible – If your child does start acting out, it’s critical you get to the root of it quickly. Don’t dismiss things and let them build up. Communication is key. Ask them why they acted out, and before you get heated and erupt in anger and disciplining them, really listen to their answer. Perhaps they are calling out for attention. Maybe something is going on you’re not seeing. Talk it out before any punishments are rendered, and it could prevent issues in the future.
Communicate frequently about everything – No subject should be off topic. Even if it makes you uncomfortable. If you don’t know the answer to something, say so, and then if you and your child want to work together to determine an answer, do so. If the topic is something like drugs, sex, etc…understand that you’re not alone in being uncomfortable. It may help to do some research on blogs, news sites and even in libraries to get the answers you need to be able to intelligently and unbiasedly chat with your children.
Don’t talk badly about your ex – If you came to be a single parent by way of divorce, do yourself and your children a favor, and avoid bashing your ex. Regardless of what led to the divorce, it’s not your place to bad mouth and paint a bad picture of your ex in your child’s mind.
Establish mutual trust – Keeping the lines of communication open with your children will help you to establish trust with each other. Don’t keep secrets and don’t deceive each other.
Do things together to bond – As early on as possible, if you haven’t already started, try to do things together for the purposes of bonding. This can be as simple as preparing dinner together, working on homework together, volunteering together, or even playing board games or watching television together. By doing things with each other you’ll not only be creating warm memories, you’ll create opportunities to communicate more.
This is far from a complete list of parenting tips, but I hope it’s at least got you thinking of some things you can do to make things a little easier on you. Additional tips may include things like having a friend or family member help you occasionally, and creating effective time management systems, but the important thing to remember is to take things one day at a time. Come from a place of love in every aspect of raising your children, and communicate as often as possible. There might not be a right or wrong way to parent, but these tips can help you on your parenting journey.