Although it is often easier for older kids to handle, divorce is never easy at any age. Nonetheless, there are ways to help your kids cope with the fact that mommy and daddy aren’t going to be together anymore.
Tell the truth about it. Often times this is difficult when the divorce is tumultuous, but it’s imperative to talk to your kids about it rather than let them draw their own conclusions. They need to be comforted and informed that even though the situation is sad or rough right now it will pass and no matter what you love them.
Make sure they know it’s not their fault. Sadly, in divorce kids often blame themselves and/or think there is something they could do to change the facts. Reassure them this was not because of them.
Keep the fighting away from the kids. Regardless of what lead you and your spouse to call it quits you must try to keep it civil in front of the children. It may not be easy, but you can’t set either of you up as the bad parent. Instead remember that the mindset of the children is the most important priority here. Keep their routines as normal as possible and don’t make the situation more volatile than it needs to be.
Honestly address the changes that will result from this. Be open and honest about it if custody will be shared or if they will be moving away from one of you. Then, make sure that they know that you will both still be involved in their lives regularly. Just because they don’t live with mommy or daddy doesn’t mean that one of you has stopped loving them.
Be careful about what you do share. There’s honesty and then there is over sharing. Be mindful of how what you share will affect the children. Although communication and honesty are important you don’t need to tell your kids everything.
No matter what you say or do, this transition could be difficult on the kids. Let them express their feelings and make sure you offer reassurance, love and understanding. If after this you are still concerned they are having too much of a rough time coping with your divorce feel free to give Hammond Psychology & Associates, P.A. a call at (813) 567-3253.