1. First things first: In every decision you make, recognize that your children will be affected in some way. Make a choice to put your children FIRST.
2. Keep communication lines open with your ex-mate. Too difficult to talk to your ex-mate face-to-face? Try email. If email is too lengthy, use texting only. Keep your communication to situations only affecting the children if other conversation is too emotional to discuss. If this still does not work, consider using a resource such as “Kids on Time” or “Our Family Wizard” to monitor communication.
3. Talk to your kids in an age-appropriate manner on what is occurring. Do not try and “sweep it under the rug”. Your child knows a divorce is happening, so discuss it with them.
4. Try to keep as many routines unchanged as possible to enhance the stability in the child’s life. Although the parent unit may be splitting up, it does not mean that numerous other events in the child’s life needs to change.
5. Work on a parenting plan that is child-friendly. In other words, if your child is older, get some of their input for what they would like to see in their time sharing schedule. If your child is younger, adjust your arrangements accordingly.
6. Make sure to take care of YOU during this time too. Lean on a friend, counselor, family member, or co-worker who is supportive of what you are going through. Take the time for your own self-care, so you can be emotionally available to your children during this time.