1. Do not speak negatively about the other parent in front of your children. Save time to discuss the negative things you dislike about your ex with your friend, another family member, co-worker, etc. but not with your children.
2. Communicate with the other parent in a manner that works for you. Remember, every family is different, so what works for one set of co-parents may not work for you. If face-to-face meetings are too emotionally painful, consider only using phone calls, emails, and/or text messages in communication related to the child(ren). Your goal should be to communicate in a manner which produces the least amount of conflict.
3. Be ready for your child(ren) to ask questions. They will always have questions, whether they express them or not. Your children are looking to see what things in their life will remain the same and what areas will significantly change after the divorce.
4. Prepare to approach your children with comforting talks. Some children are very inquisitive and will have many questions, and other children may be afraid to ask any questions at all. So, be ready to sit your child(ren) down and tell them how much you care about them and how you can help them too in the transition of the family unit.
5. A divorce or separation of parents is typically a highly emotional event. It is important you as a parent seek support from others to work through your feelings of this event, in order to be there for your child(ren). Support can come from friends, family, co-workers, a therapist, religious leader, support groups, etc.
6. Not all divorces or separation of parents are “damaging” to children. Remember that research shows what can be most “damaging” for children during the divorce or separation of parents is the parental conflict. So, reducing the amount of conflict that children hear, see, or experience directly or indirectly is best for their sense of well-being.
7. There is a healing process that occurs for everyone, including parents, children, extended family, and friends of the family. It is important to keep in mind that healing takes time and there are steps to get through this tough time.