For many parents the title of this post immediately turned them off, but ignoring a subject like this won’t make it go away. Like we said in our recent post on talking with your kids about drugs, the smartest thing you can do is be open and honest with your kids about sex. Many educators believe the best time to talk about the subject is in early childhood, but it’s never too late to bring it up either.
Some of the best reasons to discuss sex with your kids may have been put most eloquently by the writers over at WebMd “Talking with your child about sex is important to help him or her develop healthy attitudes toward sex and to learn responsible sexual behavior. Openly discussing sex with your child will enable you to provide accurate information.” Still want one more reason to talk about it? Research shows that the more parents talk about sex with their kids the longer they are waiting to have sex and teen pregnancy rates are much lower amongst families who discuss it.
We’ve settled the why, but how can we talk to our kids about sex? There are several opportunities to discuss the subject. A teachable moment could be as simple as when watching a TV show or a movie that mentions or portrays puberty. Perhaps a good time to bring it up is when they say something like “EEEEW GROSS” when you kiss your spouse. Another time is when you are out with your kids and see two young people on a date.
Don’t wait until the “perfect time” to have a long drawn out discussion either. Instead, teach them gradually. By making it feel like something natural to discuss over time rather than a big deal (even though it IS a big deal) kids will feel better asking questions and talking about the subject.
Remember, like we mentioned in the drugs post- the goal here is to help your kids become knowledgeable on the subject and then trust them to make the right decisions. If you simply approach it as an icky subject and only tell them it’s bad you are doing one of two things- 1. You are teaching them to feel bad about sex for the rest of their lives which could wreak havoc on their future relationships or 2. You are making them want to rebel and try it as soon as possible because you only told them it’s bad and never told them all the things they need to know to make a responsible decision about sex in the future.
Still need help figuring out how to talk to your kids about sex? Call Hammond Psychology & Associates, P.A. at (813) 567-3253.