Parents often express frustration regarding effective techniques to discipline their children. Many first time parents use trial and error to determine the most effective technique for their child. While each child is unique and there is no one-stop quick method of discipline that will work for every child, here are some guidelines to developing a more effective time out. Research shows that a time out is most effective for ages 3 through 12. It is also recommended that you and anyone else who would be in charge of doing a time out review these steps first and then discuss and practice with your child while they are in a good receptive mood (BEFORE they get in trouble).
Find a quiet place
Timeout happens ideally in a place with limited noise, distractions, or interruptions. Many families report using the bottom step of their stairs or provide a special “time out chair”.
Avoid responding to your child once time-out has begun
Unless it is a safety issue, avoid responding to any comments your child may make once time out has started. If your child is talking through the time-out, state in a calm voice “Your time-out starts over from the beginning again”.
Keeping time
Use a visual clock or timer to keep time rather than keeping it yourself. Some parents use a microwave or stove timer or cell phone, but anything that makes a sound at the end of time would work.
Talk it out
Perhaps the most important aspects of a time out is talking about the situation with your child. Ask your child “Why were you in time-out?”, followed by “What could you do the next time, so you won’t have time out?” For each question, allow your child the opportunity to respond. After 3 attempts, assist as needed. This is also a good time to comment on how well your child sat through time out, if they did, and what behavior you would like to see in the future to avoid another time out.
A good rule of thumb for how long time out should last, is one minute for every year your child is old. For example, if you child is six years old, then timeout is six minutes. Research suggests avoiding longer time outs as they are less effective. Remember, the purpose of the time out is to stop the unwanted behavior and reinforce a positive or desired behavior.
Wilke-Deaton, J. L. (2006) Creative parenting skills: The training handbook. Professional Education Systems Institute, Eau Claire: Wisconsin.